Simple story to Tsubasa...LE EDITED VERSION!

A Condensed Guide to Tsubasa: RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE (in chronological (ish) order for your convenience)

note: this contains ALL THE SPOILERS for Tsubasa.I have edited it for content from the original form. So if some things don't make sense: either read the amazing series, or know that there must have been something inapropriate there and it has been changed for the gentle readers... Having said that, I apologize in advance for some of the cuss-words, which probably wouldn't have been as funny/made sense without them.

SOMEWHERE IN THE MULTIVERSE

Adult!C!Sakura: OH LOOK A BABY~! :D

Adult!C!Syao: OH LOOK PROOF WE HAD @#$^$@!

Genetics: Oh, jeez, gimme a break here! 

The Space-Time Continuum: Dude, like you get to complain.

Adult!C!Sakura: Oh, Syao-chan~

BB!R!Syao: Hi, mommy!

Adult!C!Sakura: ROADTRIP!

BB!R!Syao: lolwut

ORIGINAL!CLOW

BB!R!Sakura: Hi~ <3 <3 <3

BB!R!Syao: ZOMG YOU LOOK LIKE MY MOM LET ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU AND THEN 

BREAK THE UNIVERSE TO SAVE YOUR LIFE

BB!R!Sakura: ’kay, cool.

The Space-Time Continuum: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yuuko: *facepalm*

FWR: Hi there ~ :D

R!Syao:Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

~ SUDDENLY CLONES ~

MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE LI FAMILY RANCH

Adult!C!Sakura: …we should probably fix this, shouldn’t we?

Adult!C!Syao: oh my god if you INSIST

~ SUDDENLY DOOMTUBES ~

FWR: Nothing to see here, people, move along, move along. *quietly rewinds time*

RETURNING TO OUR PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED UNIVERSE

C!Syao: OHAI, I AM A MYSTERIOUS ORPHAN FALLING MADLY IN LOVE WITH THE PRINCESS, DON’T MIND ME.

Touya: Ew, you nerd.

Yukito: *le in the background*

C!Sakura: Hiiiiiiiiii, Syaoraaaaaaaaan~ <3 <3 <3

Touya: *twitch*

Yukito: *le in the background*

The Ruins: Hooo boy, we haven’t met this arc’s explosion quota yet! Let’s throw in some crazy magic to make up for it.

Yukito: *handles crises competently in the background*

C!Syao: lolwut

C!Sakura: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Yuuko: ’SUP.

MEANWHILE IN CELES

Fye: *bishounens distractingly in the foreground*

Readers: …hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng~

Plot: *waves* Hi? Guys? I’m over he –

Water Droplets: *trail slowly down Fye’s tattooed back*

Readers: SHHHHH WE’RE BUSY

Plot: *facepalm*

MEANWHILE IN NIHON

Kurogane: LOL BLOODSHED AND CARNAGE

Souma: *distracting mesh clothing for some reason*

Tomoyo: *facepalm*

MEANWHILE AT THE SHOP

Fye: *appears*

Kurogane: *appears*

Fye: Don't wanna go back

Kurogane: Wanna go back, NAO!.

Fye: *smirks*

Kurogane: *glowers*

Yuuko: Heh

C!Syao: HELLO THE GIRL I LOVE IS KIND OF DYING HERE, CAN WE WORK ON THAT MAYBE AT ALL EVER

~ A HUNDRED BILLION CHAPTERS~

Fye: ~*~ KURO-RIIIIIIIN!!! ~*~

Kurogane: grump grump grump grump

Fye: ~*~ KURO-WANWAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! ~*~

Kurogane: grump grump grump grump grump grump

Fye: ~*~ KUROOOOO-PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU ~*~

Kurogane: GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP!!!!

C!Syao: So, um, I kind of want to marry you and have your babies.

C!Sakura: Awwww~! Hey, did I happen to know you when we were kids? ’Cause you’re kind of weirdly 

familiar…

Laser-Guided Amnesia: GOTCHA!!!

C!Sakura: …ahaha, what was I saying again? *sparkles*

C!Syao: *pains*

Fye: ~*~ LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE THROUGH LE TEETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ~*~

Kurogane: g-r-u-m-p

~ THEN ANGST ~

C!Syao: OM NOM NOM NOM EYES NOM NOM NOM

R!Syao: Oh, bitch, you did not.

C!Syao: LATERZ

C!Sakura: GUYS. GUYS. WHERE ARE MY SPARKLES. I NEED MY SPARKLES. WHY ARE WE 

NO LONGER SPARKLY AND FLUFFY AND ADORABLE, GUYS? GUYS?

Fye: Alas! Go on without me. *tragic swoon*

Kurogane: *SUDDEN PANIC*

The Idiot’s Guide to Vampirisation : *happens*

Kurogane: So, now that I’ve, like, saved your life and turned you into a vampire and crap, and now you gotta tell me stuff.

Fye’s Trust Issues: OMG, NOOO!

C!Sakura: oh my god you are all IDIOTS do I have to do EVERYTHING myself FUUMA FETCH ME A BIKE

Serious Badassery: *happens*

Readers: DID THAT JUST GO THROUGH HER FOOT? *cringes*

C!Sakura: *limps back* Right, I got you your damn egg. Can we all man up now? *collapses*

The Space-Time Continuum: Yeah, now you know how I feel, kid.

~ MOAR ANGST ~

R!Syaoran: ANGST

C!Sakura: ANGST

Kurogane: ANGST

Fye: ANGST ANGST ANGST

Chii: ~*~ sparkle!waft ~*~

Freya: ~*~ sparkle!waft ~*~

The Space-Time Continuum: OK, I am seriously not sure I am comfortable with any of this –

Fye: *STABBITY*

C!Sakura’s Soul: ~*~ sparkle!waft*

~LET'S MOVE ON TO CELES AGAIN~

Ashura-ou: ’Sup, Fai! Or should I say…Yuui?

PLOT TWIST: dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnn

Kurogane: lolwut

Fye: Um. Yeah. About that.

Kurogane: Dude, seriously, I don’t care. Get your crap together and we can go see a movie. Do I have to kill 

your stepfather first? ’Cause I can do that. Look, stabbed him right through the heart and everything.

Fye: Dude, MUST you keep ruining my life JUST like the time you turned me into a blood-drinking monster against my will!???

R!Syao: AGAIN WITH THE GIRL I (NOT REALLY) LOVE DYING, AND THE US NOT REALLY DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT, HI.

Fye: Oh, crap, more curses. I should really get these looked at.

Kurogane: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!  Look, I’ll cut off my arm to save your life. WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP ALL OF THIS ANGST!!!

OVER IN NIHON

Tomoyo: Welcome back. *brofist*

Kurogane: Yeah. *brofist*

Fye’s Trust Issues: -munches popcorn in backround*

C!Sakura: *gets sucked into a cherry tree, as one does*

C!Syao: ’SUP. *stabbity*

C!Sakura: *disintegrates*

R!Syao: *pain* DUDE, JUST ’CAUSE SHE ISN’T REAL DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN STAB HER.

Kurogane: lolwut

Fye: Um. Yeah. About that.

Kurogane: Seriously?

BACK TO CLOW

R!Syao: So. Um. About the part where I kind of maybe broke the universe to save the real Sakura’s life.

Fye: ’S cool.

Kurogane: Yeah, bro, no big.

R!Syao: AWESOME LET’S GO KILL CRAP.

FWR: trolololololololol

C!Syao: RAWR

R!Syao: RAWR

FWR: trolololololololol

Fye: *badasses vampirically in the background*

Kurogane: *badasses ninjariffically in the background*

C!Syao: *PRETEND STABBITY*

R!Syao: *PRETEND DED*

FWR: trolololololololol OH CRAP!

R!Syao and C!Syao: *brofist*

Kyle Rondart: um actually

C!Syao: *DED FOR REALZ*

R!Syao: Crap.

FWR: trolololololololol

C!Sakura: Hiiiiiiiiiiii~ <3

C!Syao: Yo.

Everyone: …wait, what?

R!Syao: …you guys look weirdly familiar.

Genetics: Oh,jeez, not this crap again....

The Space-Time Continuum: OH LIKE YOU KNOW ANYTHING

Explosions: *happen*

Fye: *BAMFs*

Kurogane: *BAMFs*

FWR: …crap. OH LOOK BTW I WAS PROBABLY A CLONE TOO, HOW’S THAT FOR A LAST WORDS, SUCKERS???

C!Syao: *vanishes*

C!Sakura: *vanishes*

R!Syao: *pain*

R!Sakura: *pain*

Kurogane: *headbop of paternal approval* You did good, kid. You did good.

WITH NORMALTY VAGUELY RESTORED

Touya: ugh how is that brat STILL here did we not manage to get rid of him in ANY of the timelines?

Yukito: *le in the background* Tea time

R!Syao: So, um, Sakura, um, you know, I feel I should kiiiiiiiind of maybe go look for our lost clones. Seeing as they are, you know, also slightly kind of sort of my parents. Also, you know, I am just the littlest bit cursed to wander the earth forever, only with Mokona instead of an albatross. And so. Um.

R!Sakura: Of course!  I fully understand that! We can hook you up with new clothes and everything! Not a problem! Ahahahaha! Um. You know, um, I also, kind of, maybe, figured that if you sort of broke the universe for me, maybe we could sort of, if you wanted to, um –

R!Syao: OH COME ON OBVIOUSLY I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU YOU MORON

R!Sakura: OH THANK GOD, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY AWKWARD OTHERWISE

Fye: Trans-dimensional roadtrips. Foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~

Kurogane: I am surprisingly OK with all of this.

Genetics: I’M NOT.

The Space-Time Continuum: Just walk it off, man.

THE END